Posted by: Liza Rosenberg | September 29, 2005

Looking to buy a little property…

Life in Israel is no picnic (aside from Independence Day, of course, when the whole country turns into one big barbecue party), so occasionally, we imagine going somewhere else. Maybe relocating back to the “old country”, or just heading to the Far East for a while. Most of us have considered it at one time or another, and needless to say, it’s been an especially attractive fantasy during the past few years, between the intifada, the collapsing economy – generally, a deterioration of our quality of life here. Who among us hasn’t wanted to escape the reality, do a bit of exploring, experiencing life in a different environment?

I know I have. Entertaining thoughts of going back to the US for a couple of years, or maybe checking out England (I love England, but that’s a subject for another blog entry). Those of you with some extra pocket change to spare might want to consider this option. That’s right, folks, how about buying your very own island? Of course, if you’re not sure, you can always just rent. A former colleague of mine and I used to check out the different real estate options in this snazzy little niche market, and discovered that, well, it’s not as little as you might think. There are islands to suit a variety of budgets (though unfortunately, not mine), climate interests, and location considerations. Like the tropics? How about Fiji or Canada? If you’re looking for something inexpensive, how about something like this? Okay, the name Guano leaves something to be desired, but hey, for that price, you can hardly afford to be choosy!

In my mind’s eye, I’m already ensconced on my island. It’s in the tropics, of course (with all due respect to the lovely islands in Canada, if I’m going to invest in an island, it’s certainly not going to be one with snow potential!). We’ve got beaches and mountains, and an unlimited supply of fresh fruits and vegetables, not to mention infinite amounts of fish. And, as long as it’s my fantasy, I am very adept at creating a veritable plethora of fish dishes, including sushi! There’s a lovely home, nestled into the mountains (but not too high up) and reflecting the lazy island atmosphere – wrap-around porches, lots of big windows and skylights to capture the natural sunlight. Ceiling fans, perhaps an outdoor shower and jacuzzi (in addition to the indoor facilities, of course – I may be romantic, but I’m no fool! I’ll still need a shower when the weather is bad, won’t I?). A number of (well-appointed) guest cottages for our friends and we’re all set. Imagine, spending your days lazing about, communing with nature, writing that book you’ve always dreamed of (which is certainly something I dream about, so why not do it on my island?). Internet and phone services are a necessity, obviously, and perhaps some television as well – nothing terribly exciting, just BBC Prime, perhaps an international news channel or two, and maybe Star World.

Down by the beach, we’ve got some great hammocks stretched between the palm trees, close to the barbecue (as opposed to the hammock and barbecue we’ve got up by the house, of course). Also at hand is the small hut with a refrigerator for beverages, the blender (for all sorts of fruity drinks), and a bathroom (for those who prefer your standard loo facilities, as opposed to a comfy rock and a few strategically placed bushes). Naturally, there’s the dock, so that people can get to the island (or get off the island, though why you’d want to, I sure as hell don’t know!), and we can take our boat out for some fishing and diving. And, because you’re the only ones on the island, modesty is no longer an issue. No one is going to notice how you look in that bathing suit (or out of it), no one’s going to stare at your thunder thighs, or laugh behind your back because you’ve missed a spot when shaving your bikini line. For that alone, it’s worth having your own island, I’d say.

Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? And of course, because we’d be the only ones living on the island, we would frequently invite our friends to partake of our island hospitality (and I promise to wear a bathing suit and take extra care with the bikini line). I bet y’all wish you had been nicer to me before, eh? 🙂


  1. My bags are packed…

  2. Cool! Just don’t forget your bathing suit please… 🙂

  3. I’m not much of a “tropical beach” person, but deep-sea fishing is one of my favorite hobbies; so book me a charter as soon as you get your boat 🙂

  4. ok, so…who owns these islands to begin with??? Did they pay anthing close to 12 million pounds for them before selling them off and these prices? And who can afford these things??? Disturbing… Anyway, I’m almost (almost…) always nice, and certainly have been to you… can I visit, huh, can I? Can I?????
    PLLLEEEAAASSSSEE! I need an island right now… preferable far away from Norway where it is rainy, cold and getting darker by the day… I’ll bring the wasabi!

  5. nrg,

    Hmmm… Let me think… Do I know you? 😉 I suppose you can come. After all, you did promise to bring the wasabi. If you bring sake, you’ll even get a return invite!

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